Happy Mother's Day! Thanks for worshipping w/us today! When I planned this series, I designed it so we'd be talking about the fifth commandment today. The word "commandment" gets too much negative press. There isn't anything negative about commandments at all! Throughout life, my parents commanded me to be/do all sorts of things. At the time maybe it "felt" negative, but they did it out of love. How much goodness would we have missed if we never listened to mom/dad?
Here is the fifth commandment: Exodus 20:12, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." The Apostle Paul says, this is "first commandment with a promise! That it may go well for you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." (Ephesians 6:2).
Last night in the car I was listening to a Lionel Richie special. I grew up listening to Lionel, dreaming of someday meeting a woman like Lara. "Hello? Is it me you're looking for?" Not sure Lara was looking for me, but I was sure looking for her!
Lionel had tremendous respect for his parents, and his grandparents. They inspired some of his greatest songs. Lionel's dad once said to him, "Son, they say you can never pay back your parents. Well I'd sure like you to try!" He's made how many millions? When he got his start, with the song "Easy like Sunday morning..." and signed a big record deal, his grandma pulled him aside at church and said, "Now Lionel, promise me you won't drink none of that dope."
They asked Lionel about working with Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, and Prince. Lionel was the elder statesman of the music industry! He reflected upon what wild, tragic lives they lived... and that he never expected to outlive them all. But there is a promise connected to this commandment. Lionel honored his parents, grandparents, and he enjoy one of the longest enduring music careers of most anyone.
I look at this commandment as an invitation. We live at a time when people are down on families. If you tell someone you are a stay at home mom, of you plan to raise more than 1.9 kids, they give you a funny look. We live at a time when people hold very little sacred--not marriage, not family, not even sexuality. I don't know that we'll ever have success arguing with people about morality... but we can sure live out God's way... and we can let time "make the case" for our manner of life.
What does it mean to honor your father and mother?
Honoring your parents means honoring the Father.
The first four commandments deal with our relationships with God. The last five commandments, deal with our relationships with others. There is debate whether this commandment is more about loving God, or more about loving people.
The ancient Philosopher Philo said that parents stand on the border between the mortal/immortal, between God and man. It's the role of the parent to assimilate children to God, who is the Father and creator of us all. So the first four commands are... There is one God and Father of us all, were not to bend our knee to any other, nor make graven images, nor use his name in vain, nor violate his Sabbath. And then fifth commandment... honor your parents. It's the parents job to create a bridge between their children and their God... to instill a fear, respect, reverence of God. There is no greater way to honor our parents then to honor God Himself.
A while back my dad had heart surgery. Now weeks before had surgery, I was telling him about some challenges I was facing in ministry. There were some things happening that were quite agonizing, and I confided about how I was feeling. Weeks later though, it's after his surgery, I'd forgotten about our conversation, my dad was in the recovery room, and I was checking on him. They had him hooked up to monitors, machines, tubes, IVs. But you know what he was most concerned about... it was whether I'd keep preaching! Preaching is not only a way I honor God the Father, it had also become a way I could honor my father and mother!
Honoring Father/Mother means honoring their investment
Remember what Lionel Richie's father said about never being able to pay your parents back, but it sure doesn't hurt to try? Every family is a little different. Some families are very open, and expressive. Maybe in your family the gratitude, the respect, the encouragement, the "love" flows right off the tip of your tongue. It's not terrifying at all for you to speak from the heart! Or maybe your family is very closed, and people aren't expressive at all. Maybe it's really "awkward" or even "terrifying" to be vulnerable. In my family if you try to be serious or sentimental, someone will crack a joke, and destroy your whole effort.
But what I am saying is honor your father and mother. Find the words, and find a way to express the words, for all they have done. Maybe you haven't called them in a while. Maybe you haven't visited them, or spent time together. Maybe your so busy and lifes going 100 hundred mile an hour. Maybe you're overlying relying on Facebook and Instagram to connect. I try to visit my parents when my other siblings aren't around... because there is rarely a serious moment, and when there is, they mess it up! I encourage you to be creative and find a way. I know my parents listen to my sermons, and read them, so I try to sneak stuff in that I know they will read or hear. [VIDEO PEOPLE... DELETE THIS]
Honoring Father/Mother means honoring their role
This past week I heard a military person say, "You salute the rank, not the man." I wasn't in the military, but I think what it means is, you honor the institution no matter how you feel about a particular person. Not everyone feels great about their parents. Maybe your parents hurt you. Maybe you feel they neglected you. God forbid, your parents abused you or abandoned you. But in a room this size, there are many who really struggle with the idea of honoring their father and mother.
What would happen to our military if soldiers dishonored the rank above them? Our military would descend into total chaos. What happens in a society when children dishonor their parents? It's the very same thing--chaos. The home (the family, father and mother) is the one divinely sanctioned institution put in place to promote the health, wellbeing, longevity of society. As goes the family, so goes society. If you can't be positive about "your" family, at least be positive about "family." The family is God's plan A for forging goodness into a person's character, and into society at large.
You know Jesus honored his Father and Mother even when they didn't understand what he was doing. On many occasion's Jesus' mother interfered with his public ministry. One time Jesus mother and brother came to take charge of him because they thought he was "out of his mind." But you know as Jesus died on the cross, he honored his Mother, and asked his beloved disciple John to care for her.
Honoring Father/Mother means fortifying families everywhere
Now more than ever I think its everyone's duty to fortify families. Given the days are evil, we ought to highlight the beauty, the positive side of family. We ought to elevate marriage and parenting, and give them the admiration their due.
I don't know the details, but in yesterday's paper there was a couple who got married at Memorial hospital in their courtyard. They'd dreamed of being married in Jamaica, but the young woman had stomach cancer, and their dreams were shattered. But a nurse heard about their situation, and went to extraordinary lengths, for them to be married at the hospital. The bride was so filled with joy, they said she rallied her strength and was doing much better. We should take every opportunity to elevate marriage, families, and parenting.
I never realized this, but the word "honor" means to give weight to something. How can we give "weight" to this thing called family? How can we honor what God is trying to do in/through families? Well these are some ideas...
Read Ephesians 6:2