The Power of Connection
It was my senior year of Bible College. Lara & I we’re engaged to be married. She had already begun her Master’s work, and I would soon begin. I’d been doing some preaching, and knew I had to find a place of ministry. One day we heard that a church, in Berlin, IL that was looking for a preacher.
So one night, we decided to drive to New Berlin to check it out! We drove up and down every street of New Berlin looking for the church. We found the Baptist church, the Catholic church, the Lutheran church, the School…
It was getting dark, so I pulled into New Berlin’s only gas station and asked the attendant about the church. I remember she had this odd look on her face. She said, “The Church isn’t in New Berlin. It’s in old Berlin. You gotta head out of town, cross the interstate, and then you’ll see it.”
So we drove across the Interstate, into “old” Berlin. New Berlin sort of reminded me of Herscher, IL where I grew up. It was a nice, quaint community. But in Berlin, there was trash everywhere, cars up on cinder blocks, little lighting, dogs running wild. And then we saw the Church. The parking lot was overgrown with weeds. The sign had missing letters. My first thought was, “oh boy… what am I getting into.”
The truth is that the Church was desperate to find a preacher—and I was desperate to find a place of ministry. Fast forward… the church hired me, Lara married me, and we moved into the church’s parsonage. So one day Lara & I are driving into Berlin, following an old pickup truck. It’s tailgate is down, and as we get closer, I notice there is a dead deer in back. In fact, its head was hanging off the back of the tailgate, blood dripping from its nose! I kept praying, “Dear Lord, don’t let Lara see that poor ole’ deer. She will pass out!”
As we passed the church, the truck began slowing down. I started praying more earnestly, “Oh Lord, please don’t let those good ole’ boy turn on our street.” But sure enough, not only did they turn on our street, they pulled into the house directly across the parsonage. After I ushered Lara into the house, and looked back across street, my heart began pounding even more! “Oh dear Lord!” Those good ole’ boys (a father and son) had strung that deer upside down in a tree and were draining the blood out of the carcass! It was like Nightmare on Elm Street, except it was First Street.
Anyhow, that was my first introduction to my new neighbor, his name was Chuck. Chuck’s wife seemed like a nice person, but Chuck made it very clear he didn’t like preachers. He was a tough case. He’d never smile. He’d never talk to me. He’d never return a wave. I had a huge lawn to mow, and bought a tiny push mower. One hot summer day his wife shouted out to me, “Hey, you can use our riding lawnmower anytime you want.” But after she went into the house Chuck huffed, “I don’t care what she says. You ain’t using my lawnmower.”
Shortly after we got married, two things happened. Chuck got a big black and tan Rottweiler, that he promptly chained to a tree. Lara and I got a subscription to the State Journal Register. They came and installed a box at the end of our driveway. Each morning I would go out to get the paper, but it wouldn’t be there. I finally talked to the courier, and he laughed. He said, “I know exactly what happens to your paper. Don’t you know your neighbor is a career thief? He takes it every morning. It’s not my problem, it’s yours, call the police if you like.”
The other thing that happened, is that 120lb Rottweiler, was always breaking his chain. Several times Lara would come home, and “Grace” would literally stand on its hind legs, put its front paws on Lara’s window, and stare at her through the glass. She was pretty terrified! Chuck would just laugh and laugh. I’d laugh too, but only when Lara couldn’t see me.
Chuck was old enough to be my father. But you know, every day, I would pray to God. I’d pray, “Lord, open a door, help me make a connection, I know you care about this man, soften his heart.” One day I noticed Chuck lining old mowers up along the highway. I asked him, “What are you doing? Where did you get all of those?”
Those used lawn mowers were my answered prayer. He explained how people were so stupid. They’d buy a lawnmower, leave gas in it all winter long, and wonder why it wouldn’t start in the spring. He could fix those mowers for a few bucks, shine them up like new with WD-40, and sell them for $75. He made thousands of dollars!
Every day, I made it a point to talk to Chuck. He slowly warmed up to me. But come to find out, Chuck knew all about the Church, its problems, it’s dark history. I couldn’t disagree with Chuck. In fact, most times I would just nod in agreement. I’d tell him, “Chuck, I see a lot of those same things too…”
Once Chuck invited me fishing. I hadn’t fished for years! We had a great time! Soon Chuck was taking Lara & I out on Lake Springfield, in his boat. (He’d always let me drive whenever Lara was riding in the tube). Chuck may have been a hard guy, but he loved his family. Every week he’d invite his kids and grandkids over, for a cookout. Lara & I became like family. He told us we could come over anytime. And I remember one day he pulled me aside and said, “Don’t tell the wife, but you can use my riding lawnmower anytime you want.”
I can’t remember when the wall came down, but Chuck started talking to me about his life. His failing health—his diabetes, his heart attacks, his fear of dying. I asked him if God had ever been real to him. He told me a story about one night breaking into a house. He thought no one was home, but he was mistaken. He hid in the house praying, “Lord, Lord… if you let me get out of here alive, and not go to jail, I’ll stop, I’ll stop, I’ll stop.” The Lord answered his prayer.
The church members were very antagonistic about newcomers. In that small town, everyone knew everyone, and everyone knew Chuck. But I told the Elders, “Guys, I really think Chuck might come to church. Will that be okay?”
Well Chuck did come to church. We had started a Saturday night worship service, as an outreach to families. Chuck would come on Saturday night. Then he would come to Sunday school the next morning, and he would stay for church, and listen to me preach a second time. In fact, every time there was something going on, Chuck was right there at Church.
Something incredible began to happen. Chuck’s wife Jeanine began attending church. Jeff’s brother Phil, and his wife began attending. Then Chuck’s son Jeff, and his girlfriend Mary. Then Chuck invited his friend Steve—Steve was dying of liver failure, from being in bars his whole life. Chuck got Steve playing his saxophone for Jesus. Soon Chucks other kids, and grandkids began coming to church. They filled up several rows.
Berlin Church was a church of 30-40 people when I started preaching. Chuck single handedly doubled our attendance. He told everyone what the Lord was doing in his life and our little church. Chuck, the lawnmower guy, became one of my best friends. I no longer had to worry about my newspaper disappearing.
One day Chuck went fishing with his brother, and suddenly died of a heart attack. They were way out in the woods, there was no one around to help. At his funeral I talked about Grace. No really, I talked about the Grace, the dog, that terrorized the neighborhood. I talked about all Chuck’s bargain hunting, selling lawnmowers. But then I talked about God’s grace… God’s grace was the greatest bargain Chuck ever got, and he knew it.
By the time Chuck died, I’d done a lot of funerals. I was able to do all those other funerals completely composed. I wondered if something was wrong with me. But Chuck was the first funeral I’d done that involved a close friend. I did my best to stay composed, but by the end of service, the tears rolled in, and wouldn’t stop.
I thought to myself, if I had never made a connection with Chuck… I would have missed on an incredible friendship.
If I had never made a connection with Chuck… he would have died, only knowing fear, and never knowing the hope of eternal life. He would have died angry, never forgiving others, never tasting the mercy of God.
If I had never made a connection with Chuck… maybe none of his thirty friends or family would have known the Lord either.
. . . . . . . . . .
We got off to a terrific start to this “Life on Mission” series. Every book was taken, we had to order more! That tells me that you have a tremendous hunger for mission, to touch the life of someone far from God.
The author, Tim Harlow, said something that really struck me… “The reason I believe the average Christian has a hard time with Life on Mission is because they don’t understand how simple it’s supposed to be. We’ve come up with so many programs and strategies and formulas. Let’s just start where Jesus did. If you never do anything more than connecting with your neighbors, we will be way ahead. So go have dinner…”
Write this down somewhere:
#The crux of our mission is relationship.
Relationship is the prerequisite, to having most any kind of influence. The most basic observation we can make about Jesus, is that is intentionally engaged people away from the Temple, away from the Synagogues, and religious spaces. Instead, Jesus engaged people right where they lived, in their homes, in their workplaces, in their neighborhoods, in their fishing boat, at their parties, at their weddings…
The Early Church followed the exact same pattern of living Life on Mission. The pattern definitely includes times of corporate gathering. But it’s in people’s living rooms, and across the dining room table, that mission advances. Do you find it curious that one of the central symbols of Christianity isn’t just a cross, but a table? It isn’t just the cross that changes people’s destiny, it’s also a table, where meals are shared!
Acts 2:42-46 says, “And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of break and prayers. And awe came upon ever soul, and many wonders and signs were being done by the Apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belonging and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking break in their homes, they received their food, with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”
Write this down somewhere:
#The crux of our mission is being present.
I find it interesting that one of the top selling books in business, is a book called, “Never Eat Alone,” by Keith Ferrazzi. He quotes Woody Allen as saying “80% of success is just showing up.” What does it mean to show up? Sometime this week, read through the gospels, and make a list of all the places Jesus showed up. He showed up on the beach, when the disciples were cleaning their nets. He showed up during storms. He showed up when the fish weren’t biting. He showed up at weddings and funerals. He showed up next to people’s sick beds, even their death beds, at times of dire crisis. He showed up a public pools, naughty parties (where tax collectors and sinners hung out). He showed up early in the mornings, late at night, in public places, in private places…
To be present, we need to show up. But there is another aspect to being present. Ferrazzi says, “80% of building and maintaining relationships is staying in touch.” Jesus didn’t just show up, he stayed connected. Think of all the highs and lows, and zig zags Jesus’ relationships took. One moment Peter leaves everything to follow Jesus, but another moment he is screaming at Jesus to go away, because he doesn’t want to deal with the issues in his life.
People can be hot and cold. They can be receptive one moment, but closed the next. They can welcome you as a friend, but then shut you out for days, weeks, or longer. They can totally “get it” one moment, but “turn away” the next. The key is that we maintain a steady posture, a faithful presence, in people’s lives. Peter was quite erratic at times, but Jesus kept reaching out to him, pursuing him, loving him, extending his hand. He was physically present, personally available, patient yet persistent.
Write this down somewhere:
#The crux of our mission is being adventurous.
A few weeks back, Lara and I were at the State Fair. Talk about awesome, I discovered this place that makes the most unbelievable hamburgers using brisket and ground beef. But I digress!! As we were sitting at a picnic bench, finishing up a burger, I noticed three police officers on bicycles. I’d never seen Springfield police officers on bicycles before. So I said to Lara, “I’ve gotta go talk to this guy…”
They ended up being very friendly. I’ve tried talking to those State Police guys without much luck… but these guys loved doing Bike patrols. I asked them about their work in Springfield, and the challenges their were facing, and how they felt about race relations, and officer safety. I told them who I was, and what I do. When I returned to the table Lara asked, “How do you know them?” And I said, “I didn’t…”
Sometimes people shut you off, so what. My neighbor Chuck shut me off dozens of times—but look what’s at stake. Lara and I go to a number of places to eat. I always see it as an adventure, or challenge, to make a connection with that waiter, or waitress, or business owner. At one place we eat in St. Louis, the workers regularly give us a 50% discount! When the time is right, I hope to tell them about an even better bargain… grace.
I have a pastor friend in Peoria, named Jim Powell, that reached out to a Jewish Rabbi and an Islamic Cleric. They regularly have dinner together and have developed deep friendships. Now they are being invited to speak to Jewish, Muslim, and Christian audiences about their friendship. Because of their “connection” Jim has had the opportunity to share Jesus with people he’d never would have met otherwise. In fact, he recently prayed with a Muslim woman to receive Jesus. [News/ Book/ Video…]
Adventure is the right word. You don’t know where a connection will lead. Why not develop a relational action plan, and take this important first step toward mission…