The Bible is full of stories about Jesus’ birth, his preaching, teaching, prayer life, ministry of healing, and his death, burial, and resurrection. But there is only one story in the Bible, just one story, from Jesus’ childhood! The scriptures are virtually silent about Jesus the preschooler, Jesus the grade-schooler, the teenager, the high school student, or the college student. Yet the one story we have, which is found in Luke 2:41-52, is quite instructive. It helps us understand the responsibility children have to their parents. Let’s take a look at this story, then extract some lessons.
Luke 2:41-44 (NIV) begins, "Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends."
Keep in mind that it was common for people in Jesus’ day to travel in a large caravan. The women and children would travel in front, and the men would travel in back. Joseph assumed Jesus was with mom. And Mary assumed Jesus was with dad. Jesus was at that awkward age when boys were transitioning into manhood. Socially, he could have been in either place.
But Jesus was with neither of them, which means he was back in Jerusalem, where one hundred thousand plus Jewish pilgrims had just trekked to the Holy City for the Passover! Luke 2:45-52 (NIV) says, "When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days (THREE DAYS!!) they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers."(His mother was less than impressed!) "When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, 'Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.' 'Why were you searching for me?' he asked. 'Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?' But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."
The part of this passage that catches everyone’s attention is Luke 2:51-52 (NIV). "Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." What does it say about Jesus that he chose to go with his parents and be, "obedient to them" ? That is such a strongly worded phrase—"obedient to them.” Was it really necessary for Jesus to be "obedient" to his parents? I mean, wasn’t he the Son of God? If anyone should be exempt it would be Jesus. Right?
Didn’t Jesus know better than his parents what he should be doing? Who were his parents that they should take him away from the temple, away from Israel’s finest religious scholars, and away from the work he was doing for his Father? But Jesus went with his parents and was obedient to them. We are told that Jesus’ mother, Mary, "treasured all these things in her heart." As astonished as she was to see Jesus rubbing shoulders with Israel’s finest teachers, she was most pleased with his humble, obedient spirit. She quickly realized that Jesus wasn’t being defiant by remaining in the temple. He was waiting there for them to return, while making the most of the opportunity! And instead of making a spectacle and dishonoring his parents by pointing out his parents' error in front of others, Jesus entrusted himself into their wisdom and care.
Jesus was the perfect child.
To his parent’s delight, Jesus honored the God-ordained, time-tested, parent-child relationship. From this point forward, the rest of Jesus’ childhood is summarized in Luke 2:52 (NIV). "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men." Jesus increased in every way. He forged his way forward through the challenges of life. He became larger than life. Spiritually, he grounded his soul in righteousness. He refused to sin. He kept a clear conscience in everything. He lived a guilt-free life with no regrets. He obeyed the Holy Spirit. He pleased God perfectly.
Intellectually he exceeded his parents, teachers, and Israel’s most brilliant scholars. Physically he developed strength to fulfill the rigorous demands of ministry later in life. Emotionally he possessed remarkable composure, self-control, and discipline. Socially he enjoyed the favor of people. He became a contributing member of society. He embodied the noble ideals of his elders and community. This childhood story begs us to see the correlation between honor, obedience, and a child fully becoming everything God desires.
Surely, if you are an adult you can see this same correlation in your life. A spirit of disobedience and rebellion sets a child up for failure throughout her whole life! And this is a warning, especially to young people. It is always cool to be anti-social, rebellious, caustic, rude, and destructive among your friends. But these attributes stunt your spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, and social development. At some point the youth culture bubble you live in will pop, and you will face the reality of living in a society that does not tolerate irresponsibility, sloth, and anti-social activity.
Jesus honored and obeyed his parents and he grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men. He was a success in life! What more could a child want to be? In Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV) Paul writes, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother— which is the first commandment with a promise—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Obedience refers to the actions and behaviors. Honoring refers to the attitude with which children are to respond to their parents.
Children are to honor and obey their parents.
In 1 Timothy 3:4 (NIV) an elder in the church is to see to it that, "his children obey them with proper respect." Children are to honor and obey their parents in action and in attitude. There are a whole bunch of reasons why. Next week on Mother’s Day, we are going to talk about the parents' responsibility to the child. But for this week it is the child’s responsibility to mom and dad.
It is important to reiterate that we are talking about a general principle here. Children should honor and obey their parents. We can certainly think of some situations where parents might abuse this principle. I’ve seen parents teach their kids to swear, to steal, and to bully other kids. In some cases parents abuse their children or even teach them to do sexually immoral acts. Obedience to any person is always in the Lord. If your mom or dad teach you to sin Luke 17:2 (NIV) says, "it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck." Parents will answer to God for provoking children to sin.
But it is rare to find parents who don't have their children’s best interests at heart. Parents almost always have their children’s spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, and social development at heart. Therefore, as a general principle it is always the child’s place to honor and obey the parent and to trust their judgment and wisdom. To go with them wherever they lead.
Honoring and obeying your parents is right.
In Ephesians 6:1-3 we find three reasons why it is good for children to honor and obey parents. First, in Ephesians 6:1 (NIV) Paul says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." As hard as it is to admit, parents are generally right about life issues. I’m not saying this to send parents on an ego trip and to put children in the dumps. It's just a fact of life. Parents have more life experience. They have made more mistakes. They have had more successes. They’ve been around the block a few thousand more times. Parents may have twenty to forty years of life experience, and grandparents even more, stacked up against a child’s five, ten, or sixteen years of experience.
As a child it is hard to connect cause and effect. If you choose this, it will lead to that. Your parents have lived long enough to know where hanging out with bad friends leads, where poor grades lead, or where a lifestyle of alcohol or drugs leads. They know where laziness leads, where a bad attitude leads, and where a foul mouth leads. It is just common sense to choose wisdom and experience over youth and limited experience. When you hurt, you choose a doctor with experience. When you're confused, you want an experienced counselor.
Experience always trumps inexperience. Paul’s words here remind me of Proverbs 16:25 (NIV) which says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." It could read, "There is a way that seems right to a child, but in end it leads to death." Children! Go with your parents. Obey your parents. They are mostly right because of their experience.
Honoring and obeying your parents
Throughout scripture, children are commanded to honor and obey their parents. Paul says in Ephesians 6:2 (NIV) "Honor your father and mother— which is the first commandment with a promise..." This isn’t literally the first commandment given by God to men. However, of all God’s counsel, it is one of the first commandments to be taught to children.
Throughout society, God ordains certain relationships for our growth and well being. God has ordained the marriage relationship with husband and wife. The husband is to love his wife, but the wife is to respect her husband. God has ordained the government/citizen relationship. The Bible tells us that God has instituted the governing authorities for our protection, to bring stability to society. This is why we are to respect government leaders, police officers, and others. Likewise, God has ordained the parent/child relationship. It is in the best interest of parents for children to obey and be respectful. But ultimately, it is in the best interest of the child to show obedience and respect to parents.
Your parents are a gift from God to nourish your growth spiritually, intellectually, physically, emotionally, and socially. You may think you have the worst parents in the world, but think of where you would be without their influence and involvement in your life! You are better because of them. God’s will is that you honor their authority and that you obey their leadership.
Honoring and obeying your parents promotes life.
Paul mentions that honoring and obeying your parents carries a reward, a promise. In Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV) the command to honor your mother and father carries a promise. "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you." In Ephesians 6:2-3 (NIV) Paul says," 'Honor your father and your mother' — which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
When I was growing up, I questioned honoring and obeying my parents. My parents used to punish us severely for swearing. One time I was standing in my Dad’s woodshop and told him a word or two I had heard that day. In mere seconds, he had me over a sink with a bar of ivory soap in my mouth. And he would twist it around so it clung to my teeth. I hated him for it, but now I see the wisdom in it. Imagine if I still talked like a sailor? I would be unemployed!
One time my parents grounded me for the whole summer because of poor grades. They also took away my computer games. I hated them for it, but that next semester I started to pull my grades together, and by my senior year I was on the honor roll. My parents refused to give me a free lunch growing up. If my friends wanted something, their parents just gave it to them. But not mine! I had a paper route. I had summer jobs. I worked at K’s Merchandise for a time. If I wanted it, I worked for it. The work ethic they instilled in me has stuck with me.
I’m not recommending these measures. You may think they're excessive. But for me, over time, they have become a source of blessing. Things have gone well for me, whereas they haven’t gone as well for some of the friends I’ve had through the years who chose rebellion, disobedience, and disrespect over honoring their parents. I can positively say that I enjoy my life. But the foundation for the life I live today was laid throughout my childhood.
Your parents are God’s gift to you. Make the most of their wisdom, experience, and love.