A young lady was soaking up rays on a Florida beach one afternoon when out of nowhere, a little boy appeared in his swimming trunks, carrying a towel. "Do you believe in God?," he asked. The young lady was a bit surprised by the question, but said, "Why, yes... I do!" And then the little boy asked, "Do you go to church every Sunday?" Again her answer was, "Yes!" Then he asked, "Do you read your Bible and pray every day?" Again she answered, "Yes!" But her curiosity was getting the best of her. At last the little boy breathed a huge sigh of relief and said, "Maam, will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?"
I think all of us are looking for someone to hold our quarter while we go swimming. We are looking for people who possess basic honesty, peoplewho can be trusted. In the same vein, we are striving to be dependable quarter-holders ourselves.
Trustworthiness is foundational to a healthy society.
The importance of trustworthiness today cannot be underestimated. Trustworthiness is foundational to a healthy society. We cannot function without it! When we drop our kids off at the daycare, when we invest in a company, when we visit the doctor, whenever we follow someone's advice, we put ourselves at the mercy of another person's honesty. Every day we're counting on dozens, even hundreds of people to keep their word and follow through on the things that are important to us.
No matter how you slice it, honesty is the fundamental building block of all life's relationships. Without honesty there can never be trust. Without trust it is impossible to sustain any relationship. Relationships stand or fall on the basis of inner truthfulness.
Now one of the ways we measure one another's inner truthfulness, or honesty, is on the basis of what we say. We are judged on the basis of our words. Specifically, we want to know if someone has a history of keeping their word. We want to know if they're accustomed to telling the truth or are more comfortable spinning falsehoods. And we want to know how closely their words and characterizations match reality. We measure honesty and inner truthfulness by words.
As the Presidential election draws near, we will be looking for inner truthfulness. To the best of our ability, we are already trying to sift through the rhetoric. We are trying to discern who is the most trustworthy and honest and competent. But in the end, it seems our judgments will be made almost exclusively on the basis of what the candidates say about themselves.
When I sold electronics equipment at K's Merchandise during my high school years, I'd speak with hundreds of people each night. When I first started, I thought the merchandise would just kind of sell itself. However as I gained experience, I noticed this wasn't the case at all! As I would talk about a product, people would scan my eyes looking for even the slightest clue concerning my inner truthfulness. Rarely were they asking, "Is this the product I need." Rather they seemed to be saying to themselves, "Can I believe this guy? Is he giving me the straight scoop? Can I trust his words?" My shifty eyes have cost me thousands of dollars in commissions. Just kidding!
It is my conviction that words are powerful and must be respected. People measure our inner truthfulness, our honesty, by what we say. People draw conclusions about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ by what we say. People give or withhold their trust by what we say. That's why the importance of honest speech can never be underestimated.
Imagine living life without basic honesty between people.
Now just imagine what life would be like if basic honesty were nonexistent. Imagine if you went to buy a new car, only to discover several months later that the salesman had lied about the car's mechanical history. Imagine if you went to buy a new home only to discover that the realtor mislead you about how many repairs the home really needed. Imagine if you entrusted your life and family to the safety of a product only to discover that the manufacturer was delinquent and actively covering up the product's numerous design defects.
Imagine if people's "yes" didn't mean "yes" and their "no" didn't mean "no" and everything someone said had to be verified and/or qualified. Imagine what it would be like if we lived in a society where words didn't mean anything? Where politicians, advertisers, employers, adults, and children spoke words only to get reelected, or to protect their reputations, or to get out of a difficult situation, or to advance their own agendas?
Let me just ask, could such a society survive for very long without honest speech? Unless you live with your eyes shut, you didn't have to imagine a thing a moment ago. All the scenarios I have just described occur daily and can be read about in our local papers. Dishonesty in speech is rampant. People are misrepresenting their work and stealing credit to get promotions. Politicians are manipulating statistics and exaggerating their contributions. Corporations continually create misleading advertisements to generate profits. Students regularly cheat on examinations in order to make the honor roll.
A recent ABC News story revealed that increasing numbers of researchers are concluding that, "Lying is a social skill that can help a person move forward in life." A recent Associated Press story titled, "Lying Puts Kids on Top" reinforces this idea saying, "The best teenage liars are often the most popular kids." Before we distance ourselves from this nonsense, another study revealed that ninety-one percent of Americans lie on a regular basis, with two thirds of Americans thinking it's okay.
Lying had become an acceptable and justifiable means to an end.
Now I don't want to give the impression that lying is just an American problem. Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, noticed the same problem in his culture. In Matthew 5:33-37 (NIV) he tackles the issue with courage and clarity. Listen to what Jesus says. "Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."
The people of Jesus' day had developed a convenient way of telling lies. First of all, they knew beyond a doubt how God felt about lying. It was wrong. They knew that God wanted his people to be people of truth, people who could be trusted always, no matter what the cost. They knew that God didn't want there to be even a hint of dishonesty on their lips. They knew that God wanted them to be people of their word. For them, blatant lying was totally out of the question.
One of the ways God challenged his people to be truthful was by not swearing. In Leviticus 19:12 (NIV) God said, "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the Lord." They were expressly forbidden from ever using the words, "I swear to God." God did not want his holy name being cheapened by the dishonesty of men. He didn't want his holy name being associated with lies and falsehoods. He wanted his name to be respected and revered by all who heard it spoken.
If for some reason they did swear by God's name, Numbers 30:2(NIV) says, "When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." Every good Jew knew that "swearing by God's name" was totally out of the question. However, they had this need to bolster the truthfulness of their claims. They had this need to have their testimony and declarations taken seriously. They had this fear that their simple word was unlikely to be trusted by men.
The Jews developed elaborate ways to avoid swearing on God's name.
At other times they had this need to spin their falsehoods in such a way as to make them sound weighty and religious and respectable and true. They wanted a smokescreen to hide behind whenever the stakes were high and the pressure was turned up, something they could say to gain temporary relief from the judgments of their accusers.
So they developed an elaborate system of oath making by which they could buttress, or support, or reinforce their words so as to make their case stronger. Though they avoided actually swearing in God's name, they believed the closer they could come to swearing in God's name, the more likely their case would be believed by their skeptics. So they would say things like, "I swear on a stack of Bibles, or scrolls, that I am innocent." Or, "I swear by the gold on the temple in Jerusalem that I've said the truth." Or, "I swear by the heavens that I did not steal money from the jar in your house." Or, "I swear by the earth that I caught an eighteen pound bass down by sea of Galilee."
Over time, several things happened. First, as people swore, it became increasingly difficult to discern which oaths were to be taken seriously and which oaths were to shrugged off. Second, as people swore, the substance of what they were saying was ignored. People were paying more attention to the style or formula or oath that was being used. Third, the people who were using these oaths were using them as a smokescreen or cover for their dishonesty. Something so simple and straightforward as the truth became a game of semantics. Clever word play, verbal sparring, and blatant deceit were the result of these semantics.
In Matthew 5:33-37 Jesus confronts his culture's flippant view toward the truth. He indicates that their technically correct lies were morally reprehensible. He points out that swearing obligates us in some way, often to do evil, as we scurry to cover an oath or pledge we made. He teaches them that every oath, no matter what its nature, is binding because God lays at the heart of the created order we swear. He reveals that the whole premise behind swearing is human untruthfulness. As John Stott says, "Swearing is a pathetic confession of our own dishonesty."
Jesus challenges them to stop putting God's character on the line to bolster their credibility. He urges them to instead strive for honesty in all of their speech. In Matthew 5:37 (NIV) he says, "Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." In the end, Jesus' message is that it doesn't matter how articulate and polished and professional you can be while lying. Telling the truth is what counts.
I really like the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases this text in The Message, a modern Bible translation. "And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." In light of all this, I would like to suggest several applications for us to take with us.
Speak the truth always.
If we give someone our word, they ought to be able to take it to the bank. If we make a promise to be at our kid's ballgame, we ought to be true to our word. If we sign a contract at work, or give a customer our word, or make a business deal, or make a promise to a coworker, we need to keep our word. If we sign up for a ministry or responsibility or make a pledge to the church, it makes sense that we should follow through on it until our obligation is fulfilled. Learn to speak the truth in small matters that are seemingly insignificant. He who is faithful with little will be put in charge of much. If we want others' words to mean something, our words first have to mean something.
Speak the truth simply.
Someone said, "Never use a gallon of words to express a spoonful of thought." John Stott says, "Our unadorned word should be enough." Exaggerations, embellishments, amplifications, superfluities, superlatives, intensifications, magnifications, added trappings, hyperboles, overstatements, trimmings, and colorful adjectives! Okay, okay! None of that is necessary. Speak the truth simply and leave it at that.
Speak the truth when it's costly.
When I was in seminary, I took a preaching class with Wayne Shaw. One of the class requirements was to read several books and to fill out a reading report at the end of the semester. At the end of the semester I was in Lincoln, which was an hour's drive from home, and decided that I would turn my reading report in early so that I would not have to make a special trip later. At that time I had done most of my reading and had just a few chapters to finish.
Knowing that I would most likely complete the reading before the due date, I submitted the reading report and thought nothing more of it. About a month later, I was up at the school and I suddenly remembered that I hadn't finished my reading. My conscience kicked into high gear. For days I tried to silence my nagging conscience, but to no avail. Finally I waddled into Wayne Shaw's office and said, "I signed a reading report and gave my word that I had completed all my reading. As of today, I still have several chapters left." We worked things out. I asked for forgiveness. It's a done deal.
It is hard to speak the truth when it costs us something, but it is the quickest way to restore lost credibility to ourselves and others. Go to those you have lied to, tell them the truth, and make things right.
Speak the truth tactfully.
George Bergman says, "Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were." Jesus always spoke the truth in love. He was sensitive to the context and the level of receptivity people would have.
If someone asks, "Do you like my new hairdo?" or "Do you think I need to lose weight?" or "Hey, how do you like my new neon striped couch?", know that you will live a long, full life if you find a tactful way to speak the truth. You can say, "That couch. It's you. It's definitely you." Or, "That hairdo really draws out your personality. It says, 'I'm here baby!' "and, "Honey, I know that if you set your heart to losing weight, you'll accomplish your goal and I'll support you no matter what you do."
Speak the truth always. Speak the truth simply. Speak the truth when it costs you something. Speak the truth tactfully.