During the last month we have had a survey on our website which asks, "Which of the one another passages are the most difficult to live out?" Some of the options included love, serve, accept, forgive, encourage, instruct, and admonish. Not surprisingly, admonishing one another topped the list. We struggle to admonish one another! In the Bible admonish has the idea of advising, reproving, cautioning, warning, or rebuking. Colossians 3:16 (NIV) says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom."
Think about the last time you attempted to admonish someone. Maybe you stepped out of your comfort zone to offer counsel. Maybe you warned a friend against taking a particular action. Perhaps you rebuked someone for making a sinful choice. Perhaps you attempted to share your faith in a constructive manner. Why do we have so much trouble admonishing one another? Why are we so reluctant to speak the truth to one another, especially in the Church?
Admonish one another with truth.
The bottom line is that we don't grow without people speaking the truth into our lives. Truth is a vital nutrient. It is our oxygen, our food, our water, and our light. For example, consider the truth of Jesus Christ. Where would you be today if someone didn't take the time to tell you the truth of Jesus Christ? What if you didn't know that God is all-powerful? That God has power over life and death? That he has power over the elements of nature, power over evil, power over the governments, power over the sin in your life, and power over your enemies?
What if you didn't know that God is all-loving? That he is merciful, forgiving, patient, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and relents in sending calamity? What if you didn't know that God is all-knowing? That he knows your name, how many hairs are on your head, your every thought, your wants and needs, your comings and goings, and that he hears your prayers? What if you didn't know that God is life? That God is faithful? That God is creator? That God is good? That God is holy and perfect? That God is just? That God is love? That God is majestic, ever present, a help in time of trouble, sovereign, eternal, transcendent, unchanging, before and above all things, and wise?
We take a lot of our knowledge about God for granted, but we shouldn't! You are where you are today because someone spoke the truth of Christ into your life. In John 14:6-7 (NIV) Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."
Could you imagine getting up this morning and not knowing Jesus Christ? Could you imagine not knowing who God really is or how to connect with him at any level? Could you imagine not knowing how to be saved, not knowing how to be forgiven of your sins, and not knowing any hope beyond the grave?
On your bulletin make a list of the people who have shared the truth of Christ with you. Parents, siblings, friends, teachers, pastors, evangelists, musicians, and other Christians. Would you have grown in your faith had they not taken the time to teach and admonish you? Again, we don't grow unless people speak the truth into our lives. But there is more to this truth stuff than meets the eye. In our sinful nature we suppress the truth. We suppress the very thing that has the potential to transform us!
John 3:19-20 (NIV) says, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."
I remember when I was in grade school, this really popular kid in my class moved into a house across the street. He was a basketball star and took our team to the sweet sixteen. But he wasn't a Christian. He had a filthy mouth. He was self-centered. He didn't respect authority or even his parents, who had recently divorced. He was up to no good. It wasn't long before being a Christian wasn't such a priority to me. Being cool and being accepted by this fellow became everything. Each night I would sneak out, meet up with him, and we'd get into trouble around our neighborhood. It was an adrenaline rush to lie to my parents, be deceitful, and be juvenile.
This friend loved miniature cigars. Every night he pressured me into smoking. It was the next big step! I had already started talking and acting like him, so why not start smoking? So there I was in a tough spot. Lighting up my first cigar, I pretended to take a puff. I started coughing just to make him think I'd really inhaled. I was like, so cool. And so every night under the cover of darkness, we would walk around on the streets and down the alleyways puffing on these miniature cigars. We'd pass them around at school. I was getting kind of comfortable pretending to smoke every night! But on one particular night everything changed. As we were walked along the dark street, suddenly, unexpectedly, a neighbor literally appeared out of nowhere. He had a flashlight and shined it in our direction. I had no time to react. He could smell the smoke. He could see the lighted cigar. My heart leaped as I heard him say, "Jon, is that you?" That was my last night smoking, and my last night hanging around my neighbor.
The truth is a powerful thing. It does powerful things when spoken into our lives. But the fact of the matter is that we fear the truth. We don't want our deeds exposed! We don't want people to see us as we really are. We want to keep up impressions. So we suppress the truth. We avoid the truth. We discredit the truth. We silence God's voice. We get away from his word. No, no! What we need to do is to come into the light and be transformed by the light. Growth only happens when we are exposed to the light. Take the light away, and we die.
Do you realize one of the greatest reasons why God calls us together as a family? He calls us together to admonish one another. We are to truth one another. On your bulletin make a list of people who have spoken the truth into your life. And not just the truth of Jesus Christ, because you've already done that! Make a list of those people who have been the voice in the darkness calling out, "Jon, is that you? Is this who you want to be? Is this how you want others to see you? Is that what you want to become? Do you know where this path is heading?" One aspect of admonishing involves speaking the truth to one another. Of all places, the church must be a place for the truth. Our relationships must be relationships of truth.
Admonish one another with grace.
There is something else beyond truth which is critical to our growth as Christians. Just as we cannot grow without people speaking the truth into our lives, we cannot grow without people demonstrating God's grace toward us. When I was a toddler, like four or five years old, I remember my mom crushing up aspirin and mixing it into grape jelly so I would swallow it. By itself, the aspirin was too bitter to swallow. I'd kick and scream and throw a royal fit when presented with it. Were it not for the grape jelly, the aspirin would have never had the opportunity to make me well.
And that is how it is with grace. Without grace the truth will never be swallowed. Without truth grace is nothing more than a spoonful of sugar. There are thousands of people every day trying to shove the un-sugared truth down people's throats. There are an equal number of people spooning out only jelly, hoping to make the masses well again. Is it any wonder both approaches fail?
Jesus used both grace and truth in his life and ministry.
John 1:14 (NIV) says, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." Jesus came from the Father, full of grace and truth. Jesus didn't sacrifice grace for truth, nor did he compromise truth in the name of grace. He brought them both together in his life and ministry and held them out to the world.
The truth is there to convict us of sin and wrongdoing. Nothing can lay us open faster than the truth of God's word being spoken into our lives. While on earth Jesus spoke the truth of God's word into our lives. Hebrews 4:12-13 (NIV) says, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
The truth brings us to conviction. It pricks our consciences. It crushes our rebellious spirit of pride. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts. It brings us to a place of brokenness and repentance. But it is God's grace that keeps welcoming us in. God's grace is constantly forgiving us, loving us, restoring us, encouraging us, being patient with us, and is giving us a second chance and a third and a fourth.
When I was in college I worked at a small business where we made key chains, necklaces, buttons, pins, magnets and other metal pieces. My job was to pour molten metal into a casting machine, take the metal pieces out of the rubber casts, and then sand off all of the rough edges where the castings malformed. The owner of the business wanted every piece to look perfect. He never once lowered his standards. When the pieces came out of the polisher there were to be no bumps, dimples, cracks, chips, or discoloration. Nothing was to be imperfect.
At first, the job was incredibly frustrating. I spent hours working on these pieces only to have the owner reject ninety-five percent of them. But he was so gracious and patient. He kept encouraging me along, giving me chance after chance, and celebrating my progress. It took months before I was able to do what he wanted me to do. Had he only held up the standard, I would have quit after a day. But his grace kept me coming back, and kept me growing.
I want you to consider a simple formula for life transformation that a guy named Bill Donahue came up with some time ago. He says that, "Grace + Truth + Time = Transformation." Admonishing is all about applying this formula to our relationships with one another. Let's take a moment and unpack what it means to admonish one another.
Are you demonstrating God's grace to others?
In Matthew 18 Jesus tells the story about a king who wanted to settle accounts with one of his servants, who by today's standards owed the king millions of dollars. Realizing that his entire family and all he owned was about to sold to repay his debt, the servant pleaded with the king for mercy. The king cancelled the servant's debt and set him free. But that same servant turned around and found some poor soul who only owed him a few dollars. He was so angry that he grabbed the man and choked him. After the man pleaded for mercy and promised to repay, the servant had him thrown into prison.
The irony of this story is that someone who had been forgiven millions could have so much trouble forgiving mere dollars. The irony in our lives is that Christians who have received so much grace, could have so much trouble showing some grace to others.
1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." As you think about your relationships here at Lakeside, who do you most need to show some grace toward? Who have you been the hardest on? Who have you been judging? Criticizing? Resenting? Talking about? How can you make God's grace as real to them as it has been to you?
Are you speaking God's truth to others?
In Colossians 3:16 (NIV) Paul says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom." There are a lot of reasons why we don't admonish others with the truth. One reason is that we want to be accepted by everyone and we don't want to make waves. It is a lot safer to sit back in the pew than to risk a difficult or awkward conversation. Another reason that we don't admonish others in the truth is because they may want to admonish us in return! And it's more fun being on the giving end than on the receiving end! How can we begin moving away from our fears in order to truth one another? Who have you been holding back from speaking to?
Are you allowing time for God to work?
I was reminded again this week by 2 Peter 1:5-9 (NIV) that all growth is a process. This scripture says, "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."